Mariah Kreutter Mariah Kreutter’s fiction has appeared in Joyland and Columbia Journal. She is 25, lives in Brooklyn, and is working on a novel.

Have You Heard This One Before | Fiction

Mariah Kreutter

My ex-boyfriend had a joke that went like this. He called it a joke. It was really more like a story. Here it is: So there’s this guy who, one night, someone breaks into his bedroom and rapes him. The rapist is really quiet, really efficient. He doesn’t leave a trace: no DNA, no signs of forced entry. He’s pretty considerate, actually, uses lube. Uses a condom. Totally blindsides the...